Why I quit the science stream

I was watching Naked Science on Discovery Channel which attempted to explain how the universe began.
Quoted almost directly from Naked Science:
"The universe was created when atoms collided into each other causing them to vibrate and release great heat. They then began to move around so fast that there was no longer any friction between them."
Never being any good at physics, I took ages trying to make sense of the above statement (and by doing so, missed the rest of the programme). After much contemplation, this is what I came up with:
1. The creation of the universe is very much like the elimination of fat by the Ogawa Slimming Belt (hereafter known as the Ogawa)
2. When the Ogawa is turned on, fat atoms (or cells) vibrate and collide with each other.
3. Added with heat from the Ogawa, the fat atoms no longer have any friction among them.
4. They then can be easily absorbed into the lymphatic drainage system and VOILA! No more fat!
OK, so it has nothing to do with the creation of the universe but it makes much more sense than the original statement.
And it is because of statements like these that I quit the Science Stream.
Disclaimer's note: The above interpretation is purely nonsensical and has absolutely no relation with the Ogawa Company and its ability (or lack thereof) to eliminate fat. If possible, try not to believe the above interpretation.

Charitable Me

About a year ago, while surfing for my favourite singer, Clay Aiken (who, by the way, was cute and is NOT gay), I found that he had founded a foundation (no pun intended with all the founds) meant to aid children with developmental disabilities.
Given the fact that Aiken was supporting a cause which I found dear to me (and that I was PMS-ing at that time), I ended up sobbing at the sweetness of it all.
A year later and not a year wiser, I revisited the site and fueled with the Spirit of Christmas, I decided to see if I could help the foundation. (And by doing so possibly increase the chances of me meeting Clay Aiken and proving to the world that he's not gay)
And so, I clicked onto the how to help link.
Below are the ways to help followed by my thoughts in italics.
1. Donate Online, by telephone or by mail
Eep! No money!
2. Visit our Store to purchase products. Proceeds benefit the Foundation.
Umm.. sure but only if there's a store in Malaysia.
3. Donate airline miles
I use Airasia! Airasia does not provide frequent flyer miles and it DEFINITELY does not fly to the States.
4. Designate The Bubel/Aiken Foundation as a beneficiary in your will or life insurance policy
I don't even have a will and I'm not sure if I have a life insurance policy... So no helping there!
5. You can use GoodSearch.com like any other search engine – the site is powered by Yahoo. – but each time you do, money is generated for the Foundation. Every time you search the Internet a penny is donated towards the Foundation.
Whee! I can do that! I AM charitable!!!
As of now, I am officially using Goodsearch.com as my homepage and search engine to contribute to the Bubel-Aiken Foundation. That's one step closer to bringing me to heaven! (yea right!!!)
Oh, and if you doubt my charitableness, this is a picture of an RM7 stuffed dog which was sold in the name of charity. (Of course the fact that Tim bought it instead of me does not help my case, does it?)


(No offence Tim, but yeah... I do agree with you.. It is one sad looking dog. But it's sorta in a way better than the pig that sang Tamil/Mandarin songs!)
Missing you loads Fadli....

Me and My Ogawa

I just received Ogawa's version of the Uzap for Christmas. This is good news for the supporters of the Make Sheba a Princess Project because with this handy device, which claims to produce the results equivalent to 500 sit ups in just 15 minutes, (which is good, because I can barely do 50!) Sheba can raise the chances of her snagging herself a Prince.



(This should be renamed the Portable Sit-Up)
Within 15 minutes of using this device, I lost 0.5 inches off my waist, therefore increasing my chances of attracting a prince.
Me and my Ogawa are going to go far. We already have plans:
1. Ogawa is going to turn my thighs from the size of tree trunks to the size of a baby giraffe's.
2. I'm gonna have a Jessica Alba style tummy with the help of Ogawa!
3. I won't have flabby arms anymore!
4. Slimming Sanctuary won't have any more reason to call me fat!
I'm pretty sure that no prince will be able to resist Sheba-with-baby-giraffe-thighs and a Jessica Alba-like tummy and tight toned arms!
Of course, if the Ogawa doesn't work, then it doesn't really matter because it was a free gift anyways and we'll be back where we started.
But then again, if you spot me looking slimmer than before, we all know who to thank. :D

My day in the hair salon

Once upon a time, there was a girl named Sheba.
She entered Salon X for a digital perm.
The moment the hairdresser touched her hair (he was a thin man wearing an over tight shirt and over tight jeans), he announced to the whole salon in the manner of a scientist who had just discovered a cure for cancer.
“THIS HAIR CANNOT DIGITAL PERM!”

Scandalised, she glared at him for an explanation. “You cannot use this perm,” he continued. “You must use this ISO perm”
Not knowing the difference and since he claimed that it would have the exact same results, the-girl-named-Sheba-who-only-wanted-a-digital-perm agreed.
To cut a long story short, after 3 hours of reading outdated celebrity magazines and trying to ignore the bulge that comes with male hairdressers wearing too tight jeans, the-girl-named-Sheba-who-only-wanted-a-digital-perm-but-was-coerced-to-having-an-ISO-perm-instead ended up looking like this:















A picture of me in the salon and the lower half of the hairdresser. (btw, I personally think that my hair now bears resemblance to a lion’s mane.)
As such, the-girl-named-Sheba-who-now-looks-like-a-lion-and-possibly-like-a-brunette-version-of-Chad-Kroeger-minus-the-beard is putting all dates or encounters with good looking members of the opposite sex on hold until her hair tames down.
Oh, and if you are a member of the opposite sex and you see me with lion-like hair, well.. you know that I think you’re not good looking. :p
Merry Christmas all!